Here’s a thought pattern that used to make me nuts (and I haven’t completely conquered it yet): 'Zero to disaster in 60 seconds!' I'll bet some of you have experienced it, too. Here's how it goes.... Your 16-year old son has missed two history assignments this week... He'll start falling behind and fail a test... Then he'll stop working in other classes, fail multiple courses, he won't graduate high school (forget about college!), start using drugs, and end up living on the street. Zero to disaster in 60 seconds. Yes, it's overly dramatic. But it illustrates how something small can trigger your fears and have you projecting way too far into the future… especially when the event is outside of what you consider normal for your child.
Remember to pay attention to the small stuff -- and recognize that it IS small stuff. Some things are problems to be solved, not crises. Stay calm and focused in the present moment. Take the action that needs to be taken. And make sure that your child is involved in the creation and implementation of the solution. After all, it’s his problem, not yours.
~ Fern Weis, Certified Coach and Middle School Teacher, helps parents break down the walls their teens put up, so they can have a great relationship and better prepare their kids for success in college and beyond. Learn how Fern can help you with your parenting concerns through coaching, classes and workshops at Your Family Matters.